JACKSONVILLE, FL – A shocking turn of events took place last night during the first round of the College Bugsketball Turner-ment. 8th seed Jacksonville Termites have been disqualified for eating away a section of the court. When asked about the incident, head coach, Timmy Terminitis, had these remarks.
“I wish I could say that I didn’t see this coming. I’ve been petitioning for months that the league look into a faux-wood alternative,” said Terminitis. “Back home we practice on asphalt so the team was never tempted. It’s just like if we took a kid that’s never tasted candy and gave him an all-access pass to a chocolate factory. I can’t say that I blame them, though. These kids are young, they’ll bounce back.”
Due to the lasting damage caused by the Termites, the league is looking into appropriate measures on how best to reprimand the team. As of this reporting, the leading option is that the Termites must undergo therapy with Turner Pest Control. This includes an extensive 4-week program where subjects are typically returned unrecognizable from their prior selves.