DAYTONA BEACH, FL – Realizing the importance of irrigation, homeowners in the northern half of Florida have begun performing ancient rain dance rituals. However, their attempts have drawn the attention of the local government tasked with ensuring water conservation measures remain intact.
“While me admire their dedication, we are mandating that rain dances be limited to twice per week,” the Mayor said in a press conference earlier today. “This may sound unconventional, but unconventional is how I got into office.” He added, “I am holding my family to the same regulations as any other family in our community. This morning, my daughter pulled out a Ouija board to summon Tempestas, the ancient storm goddess, and I had to intervene. I told her ‘Not until Tuesday, honey.’
A spokesperson for Turner Pest Control said that irrigation is critical to a strong healthy lawn but citizens should obey any regulations. “On no water days, any ceremonial rain rituals should be limited to a short jig at best,” the spokesperson said.