MELBOURNE, FL – Disgruntled mid-level associate, Graham McDoogal, was arrested on 4 counts of vandalism earlier today after leaving his boss in a ‘sticky situation.’
When asked about the motive for plastering his boss’ walls with honey, McDoogal responded, “I’ve worked at Bloomington’s now for over 7 years. For Craig to get the promotion after only 3 years and not me is ludacris. I hope they enjoy their office full of bees and have plenty of calamine lotion on hand.”
Daily Antennae reporters spoke with Bloomington Branch Manager, Artisan Cremoux, who was responsible for the promotion.
“McDoogal has always been a weird one. This just means we all get to work from home now, which is nice because we get barely any PTO days.” Cremoux said. “As for the bees, this whole office complex is serviced by Turner Pest Control. There’s no way bees are making it inside, no matter how sweet that honey is.”